From Tutor (16/Dec/2019):

Hi Blas

Please find attached the report on your first draft for Assignment 3.
As I’ve said in the report please feel free to send the revisions for comment.

Regards

 

Response (23/Dec/2019)

Thank you very much for your report and for your thoughts on the essay. I have reworked it taking into account your advice and structuring it in the way you suggested. However, it seems that I did not succeed in reducing the number of words, which is approximately 500 words over the maximum size stipulated.

From Tutor (11/Jan/2020)

Hi Blas

The re-balancing of the essay toward the discussion of the effect of the digital revolution on the topic has improved its applicability to the course context.

Structurally I think it still needs sharpening. The introduction needs to signpost the way points of your narrative.  Your title foretells a review rather than a staged critical argument but from the reader’s point of view it is still conducive to understanding to have some sense of the journey they’re being taken on from the outset.

Try and get the word count down by ruthlessly editing adjectives and adverbs which don’t substantially effect the meaning.

Regards

 

Response (11/Jan/2020):

Thank you so much. I’ll try to refine it a little more. 
I think the only possible plot line is the confirmation that postmortem photography has disappeared as a practice before the digital revolution, basically due to social issues.  However, I believe that digital culture has led to a redefinition of man’s relationship with death and eternity.

 

Response (15/Jan/2020):

Here is a second review of the essay. I reduce the word count dramatically but it’s over 2500 yet.
I rewrote the introduction, trying to explain how the arguments will be developed.
As for the title, I do not know how to briefly state the argument which is none other than to say that there is no evolution of post-mortem photography as a genre, but how the role played by it was appropriated by other means of representation.
Kind regards
Blas

 

From Tutor (16/Jan/2020):

I think the word count is in an acceptable range now.

The title could be ‘How has digital culture impacted on the performance of death and mourning in society.’

Then for the Introduction make a series of bullet pointed sentences which introduce the logical structure to your essay through relating to the headings.

The subheadings should be more directly related to the content of the sections.

For example ‘The genesis of Post-Mortem photography’ … ‘The Last Decade’

So for example the Introduction could begin…

The function of photography as a reference of reality and a prosthesis of memory has led to the early appearance of the so-called Post-Mortem photography, certifying its usefulness as a tool for managing grief and perpetuating the memory of loved ones.

This essay will consider…

  • The genesis of Post-Mortem photography; analysing early examples
  • Etc…
  • Etc…
  • The Last Decade; the impact of digital imaging and communications on rememberance

You are free to come to your conclusion that digital has had no impact on the genre but you need to be sure that you’ve evidenced that through analysis of the visual material and its functioning in society to convince the assessors of the process you’ve undertaken to conclude that. Remember it’s digital image and culture, ‘other means of representation’ come under that umbrella.

 

Response (16/Jan/2020):

Thank you so much for your message. I reworked the introduction and the titles of the sections (I took advantage of the titles you sent me). 

The function of photography as a reference of reality and a prosthesis of memory has led to the early appearance of the so-called Post-Mortem photography, certifying its usefulness as a tool for managing grief and perpetuating the memory of loved ones. This essay discusses how there is no evolution of post-mortem photography as a genre, but rather the transfer of its function to other means of representation that are part of the digital ecosystem and which we will examine in the following sections:

  • The genesis of post-mortem photography: analysis and early examples
  • Changes in the social context of death and its consequences for post-mortem photography
  • Death in contemporary documentary and artistic projects
  • The last decade: the impact of digital imaging and communications on remembrance

I will work on the conclusion to ensure that the arguments lead consistently to the initial thesis.

Kind regards

Blas

 

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